Every year the holiday season comes with a time of joy, celebration and togetherness. These positive feelings bring good emotions and happiness that fill our minds. But—for many this time of year brings a mix of emotions—such as mild stress, profound loneliness and severe depression. There are many reasons that can amplify feelings of isolation, financial pressure or grief which can make the holidays miserable for many of us.
The social expectations of the holiday season often collide with our individual realities. When this happens it reveals how much complexity we have to face during this time. Many of us enjoy the holiday traditions immensely. But there are people who also struggle a lot with loss, broken relationships or the immense pressure of social expectations. These situations need greater empathy and understanding from us. With proper support the mental health conditions of those poor souls can be healed.
So—it is vital for us to identify and understand holiday related depression and loneliness. By doing this we can deal with the root causes with a more inclusive approach. With honest and direct conversations we can be able to provide extended support to people who are struggling with this mental health issue. When we can do this it will ensure that the holidays truly bring the spirit of connection, love and care.
What Is Holiday Depression and Loneliness?
Holiday depression or “holiday blues” triggers feelings of sadness, anxiety and loneliness in you. You’ll feel the intensity during the holiday season. It can also trigger symptoms like fatigue, insomnia, irritability, and loss of interest in daily activities.
As per Kory Floyd, a professor of communication at the University of Arizona and the author of “The Loneliness Cure” – “Loneliness and aloneness are not the same thing.” You might be spending time with friends or family, but you may still feel isolated. On the other hand—you may stay at home alone and feel much more comfortable and relaxed.
Reasons For Holiday Depression
Loss of Loved Ones. The holidays are the most amazing time for celebrating togetherness and sharing love. If you have lost someone precious in your life, such as a parent, partner, or friend, then you will miss them the most during this time.
Financial Stress. During the holiday season you might feel a huge financial pressure on your wallet. You might have to spend on gifts, decorations, travel and many other things. If you are struggling to make ends meet or had a recent financial crisis, fulfilling these expectations might be quite challenging for you. Things get really complicated if you have kids and you cannot afford to buy the gifts your children hope for. This financial stress sometimes triggers depression and you find no one to share this situation with.
Social Isolation. If you live far from your friends and family, or those who are close to you then you may find yourself isolated during the holidays. This isolation becomes unbearable when you see others spending time with their loved ones. As a result you will feel stressed, depressed and lonely more than ever.
Reasons for Holiday Loneliness
Unrealistic Expectations. You might be thinking that everyone else is having more fun during the holidays except you. This confusion can be propelled more if you check social media and view images or videos shared by others. Seeing other’s happiest moments on social media platforms you can only see the fabricated truth. You actually don’t see what is really happening in their lives. If you feel down seeing those posts, you should avoid visiting your social media profiles. Additionally, do not compare your current holiday with your previous holidays. You have to adapt to new situations and focus on creating new traditions.
Missing Family and Friends. You might be missing your family and friends during this holiday due to different reasons. Long distance, busy schedules or differing priorities may make it impossible for you or your family to meet face to face. In this situation try not to take it personally. Instead, you should focus on other connections such as local friends or colleagues with whom you can enjoy the holidays and make the most of the moments.
Grief or Depression. As I mentioned earlier, you will feel lonely if you’re missing a loved one or can’t meet that person face to face during this holiday. These emotions may haunt you through the entire holiday season — and beyond. Allow yourself to feel sad—there’s nothing wrong with it. You need to cope with this issue gradually. Meet a friend, practice self-care or engage in some fun activities. This way you can make this holiday season a little easier to handle.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Many people face a unique mental health issue during the winter season. It is called the seasonal affective disorder (SAD). This condition is triggered by a lack of sunlight and affects human minds. SAD often triggers a few symptoms like fatigue, sadness and depression. The low presence of natural sunlight also affects your body’s melatonin production. As a result you might experience difficulties in sleep. SAD also affects serotonin production in your brain which causes mood swings. To avoid this situation you must spend more time outdoors to have enough sunlight. If it is not possible then make sure you have a light therapy box. This box produces lights similar to natural sunlight. These small ways can boost your mood and energy levels during the holiday season.
Strategies to Cope with Holiday Depression and Loneliness
1. Be real, think real
Your holidays don’t have to be cinematic, it should be as real as you are! Do not get overwhelmed by what you are seeing on social media. Focus on having a real experience that gives you pleasure. Buy gifts that you can really afford, and spend your time enjoying with friends as much as you can. Do activities that bring you joy. Don’t try to overdo it, stop yourself from pushing to the limit.
2. Focus On Self-Care
You must take care of your body and mind. A good physical and mental health is the most valuable asset you have. Both of these assets will help you while you face holiday blues and stress. Maintain a regular sleep schedule, eat nourishing food and vegetables, avoid junk food, drink plenty of water, exercise daily, breathe fresh air as much as possible and lower screen time into your daily routine. Exercise is a good mood booster for everyone. It releases endorphins that can reduce feelings of depression. Do activities like meditation, yoga, or deep breathing exercises to reduce stress and improve your mood. One more thing, reduce your alcohol consumption and smoking habits as much as possible.
3. Use Technology for Maintaining Connection
If you can’t connect with your family and friends during this holiday, make sure you use technology to ease up this issue. You can make a phone call to wish them, send a text message or chat through Skype or Zoom calls. Share your holiday experience digitally so that people who are far away from you can also experience your feelings. These steps can help reduce feelings of isolation and give you a sense of togetherness.
4. Limit Social Media
Yes, you should avoid being on social media platforms as much as possible. Social media can increase your feeling of insecurity or loneliness when you scroll through other’s posts. Take a break, follow digital detox strategies and reduce your screen time. Set limits on your phone usage and focus on your surroundings. If you have happy people around you then you should mingle with them and enjoy this holiday season. Live practically rather than digitally!
5. Accept Your Feelings
It’s okay if you feel sad or lonely during the holidays. You should not tie up your emotions, let them free! If you don’t express your feelings it will make them more intense and they will somehow come out aggressively. Write down your feelings through journaling. You can also make a call to your close friend or consult a mental health expert and share your feelings. Therapists, counselors, or support groups are there to help you face the challenges of the holiday season.
6. Start New Traditions and Follow Them
If you find old holiday traditions painful then you should create new holiday traditions for yourself and follow them. It’s not rocket science, you just have to find ways to celebrate holiday time simply. You can watch your favorite movies, play video games on your PC or Console, take a walk alone in nature or gift yourself a special meal at your favorite restaurant. These new traditions can help you to shed all the sadness of being lonely and give you joy during the holiday season.
7. Set Boundaries For Everybody
During this holiday season you might have to face increased demands from your family or friends. Trust me, there’s no shame if you can’t fulfill all of their needs due to any circumstances. If you have problems, just say no when needed. You shouldn’t feel guilty about anything. Just focus on protecting your time and energy. Set boundaries for everyone and have trust in yourself.
8. Practice Gratitude
Do not allow negativity to cover your mind. If you are alone, spend time doing something good and creative. Thank the universe and the almighty for giving you the chance to grow. Take a few moments each day to think about the positive aspects of your life. Think about the good people you have in your life and their support. Do not mourn for the things you don’t have, be thankful for the things you have in your life. Start doing gratitude journaling to prevent negative thoughts from blurring your mind. Boost positive thinking, feel happy for small achievements and enjoy every drop of your life like never before!
9. Volunteer or Give Back
You should start helping others who are also facing the same holiday blues as you. This way you can focus on positive activities during the holidays. You may volunteer at a local shelter, donate to a good cause as per your affordability, or help your neighbor with holiday decorations. These activities can develop a sense of connection and purpose in you. Being kind to others through helping can bring a sense of fulfillment in you which can reduce the feelings of loneliness or sadness.
10. Create your own holiday bucket list
Make yourself happy. Create a holiday bucket list for your own. Add any item that you need the most or wish to buy for a long time. Plan your days in such a way that you can do all the activities you want, join the events you like, visit the places of your dreams and meet the people you love! Do you want to stay at home and enjoy watching movies alone? Do it! Do you want to get creative? Spend quality time doing things you like such as painting, cooking, playing musical instruments, reading books, etc.
If you like technology and gadgets, learn about them and build your own gaming PC. If you are good at this, you may even earn money by playing online multiplayer games and participating in several gaming competitions.
When to Seek Therapy or Counseling For Holiday Depression and Loneliness
- Constant feelings of sadness or hopelessness. If you feel these emotions for more than two weeks—consider seeking therapy.
- Physical symptoms. If you are experiencing symptoms of fatigue, disrupted sleep or appetite—consider seeking therapy or professional help.
- Social withdrawal. If you avoid family or social events frequently and love to stay alone always—talk with a counselor.
- Suicidal thoughts or self-harm. If you continuously have these thoughts you need immediate professional attention.
- Difficulty coping with grief. If you’re suffering from an overwhelming loss then therapy can help you process your emotions.
- Substance misuse. If you are being addicted to alcohol, drugs or other substances—you must go under therapy.
Hotlines and Online Resources for Immediate Support
Crisis Hotlines
- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (U.S.): Dial 988 or visit 988lifeline.org
- Crisis Text Line (U.S., Canada, UK): Text HOME to 741741
- Samaritans (UK): Call 116 123 or visit samaritans.org
- Kids Help Phone (Canada): Call 1-800-668-6868 or text CONNECT to 686868
- Lifeline (Australia): Call 13 11 14 or visit lifeline.org.au
Online Therapy Platforms
- BetterHelp – Offers affordable online counseling.
- Talkspace – Therapy via text, audio, or video.
- 7 Cups – Provides emotional support through trained listeners.
Specialized Support Groups
- GriefShare – Support for those grieving a loss.
- Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) – Community support for addiction recovery.
- NAMI HelpLine: Call 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) or visit nami.org – Mental health resources and support.
Benefits of Group Therapy or Support Networks During the Holidays
- Shared experiences with other patients
- A supportive environment helps the patient gain courage through non-judgmental feedback.
- Coping strategies and techniques for patients.
- Accountability based on regular meetings, and a proper structure towards self-care.
- Building connections through friendships and support systems beyond the holidays.
Conclusion
We all wait the entire year to celebrate the holiday season with lots of joy and togetherness. But we don’t know how many of us may be facing severe depression and loneliness in real life when the holidays come. Even you might be one of them, who knows! So—as a responsible human being it is your duty to yourself and your family members that you must follow steps to manage holiday depression and loneliness. Admitting these feelings is not a sign of weakness. You should step forward and tell about it to your loved ones. You should also reach out for professional support—and seek professional help when needed to heal this mental illness.
Follow tips for prioritizing self-care, such as setting boundaries, creating new traditions, or simply allowing yourself a breathing space. Also, you must follow mindfulness practices and physical activities to boost your body and mind. Each healthy habit you follow toward self-care and connection brings you closer to peace and balance during this holiday time and beyond.
Resources:
https://www.cedars-sinai.org/blog/signs-of-holiday-depression.html
https://bumble.com/the-buzz/how-to-cope-with-holiday-loneliness
https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-to-know-about-loneliness-during-the-holidays
https://www.verywellmind.com/loneliness-and-the-holidays-3144645
https://kchs.org/coping-with-holiday-stress-loneliness/
https://www.choosingtherapy.com/holiday-loneliness-tips/
https://www.nytimes.com/2022/12/20/well/family/holiday-loneliness.html
Authored By
Shebna N Osanmoh I, PMHNP-BC
Jan 17, 2025
Shebna N Osanmoh is a board-certified Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner with extensive experience across the mental health spectrum. Holding a Master’s in Psychiatric/Mental Health Nursing from Walden University, Shebna provides compassionate, culturally sensitive care for a wide range of mental health conditions, emphasizing holistic and individualized treatment approaches to support patients in their wellness journey.
Recent Comments